Authority, Obedience, and Raising an Eight-Year-Old: A Catholic Reflection on Romans 13

When St. Paul writes in Romans 13 that “all authority comes from God,” it’s easy to misunderstand. Some read it as God endorsing every ruler, parent, or leader automatically. But the Catholic understanding is deeper, wiser, and—if you’re raising a child like I am—essential to daily life.

Authority Comes From God, But People Misuse It

The Church teaches that authority itself—the structure, the order, the need for leadership—is willed by God. Society needs authority the way a family needs parents or a classroom needs a teacher. Without it, we fall into chaos.

But the person holding the authority isn’t automatically holy, wise, or even conscious of God. Many don’t know God placed them in that office at all. They might not see it spiritually, but we as believers are called to see the deeper truth:
God permits leaders, governments, parents, and even imperfect systems because He works through order—not disorder.

Yet authority becomes legitimate and good only when it seeks the common good and acts in the light of God’s moral law (CCC 1902–1904). And if an authority commands something against God, we obey God first (Acts 5:29).

That teaching has helped me tremendously—not just with understanding society, but with understanding my own role as a father.

Co-Parenting and the Hidden Weight of Authority

Co-parenting an 8-year-old in today’s world has taught me more about authority and obedience than any political debate or news headline.

My son is learning how to navigate two homes, two personalities, two styles of parenting—and one God. Some days he tries to play us against each other. Some days he tests limits because he knows where the cracks used to be. And some days, he simply expresses the confusion a young heart feels when two worlds don’t always match.

Romans 13 hits differently when you’re raising a child who is watching every reaction:

• How do I show him that authority is from God when adults around him don’t always act like it?

• How do I hold my ground without becoming harsh?

• How do I stay consistent when emotions run high?

I realized that the first authority he sees—before police, priests, teachers, or the government—is me and his mother. And God doesn’t require us to be perfect, but He does ask us to be faithful.

Respecting Authority Begins With a Child Feeling Safe

Authority doesn’t mean dominating a child. It means helping them feel anchored enough to trust the world they’re growing in.

In co-parenting, that looks like:

• Keeping unified rules, even across two homes

• Not allowing him to pit one parent against the other

• Staying calm even when the situation gets emotional

• Showing him that Mom and Dad honor each other’s role—even after divorce

When he notices we both hold a boundary, he learns respect.
When he sees us avoid tearing each other down, he learns honor.
When he watches us pray, decide, and parent thoughtfully, he sees what obedience to God looks like.

Our unity—however imperfect—is a light in his small world.

When Your Co-Parent Doesn’t See Their Authority as God-Given

This is the harder part.

Just like public leaders, many parents don’t consciously see their role as God-ordained. Sometimes they operate from wounds, exhaustion, or their own struggles. Sometimes you’re the one trying to bring spiritual clarity while the other person is simply trying to get through day-to-day life.

But Catholic teaching reassures us:

• Authority comes from God even if the person doesn’t know it.

• God can work through a parent even if they don’t explicitly call on Him.

• Your obedience to God’s order—your calm, your structure, your consistency—can bless the whole family.

What matters is your faithfulness to the divine structure, not whether the other parent spiritually recognizes it yet.

Teaching an 8-Year-Old the Difference Between God’s Authority and Human Failure

Kids are smart. They know when adults fail.
So how do we teach them Romans 13 without confusing them?

1. Teach them what good authority looks like.
   Explain that God wants leaders—including parents—to guide with love and fairness.

2. Teach them that some authority is imperfect.
   They don’t need the illusion that adults always get it right.

3. Teach them that God is the ultimate authority.
   That’s the anchor. When people fail, God doesn’t.

4. Teach them that obedience isn’t blind.
   We obey what is good, safe, and moral.
   We speak up when something is wrong.

This gives a child moral clarity, not confusion.

Raising a Child by the Light of Romans 13

Co-parenting isn’t easy.
Raising an 8-year-old isn’t simple.
And holding firm to Catholic teaching in a world that mocks authority and mixed families is even harder.

But Romans 13 gives us peace:

• God is still in charge.

• Authority is still sacred.

• Your vocation as a father is still holy.

• Your child is still being shaped by God through your effort, even on the hard days.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be faithful.
And God will do what only He can do.