When Your Child Is Embarrassed by Faith: A Parenting Moment That Stings
Tonight brought one of those small-but-deep parenting moments — the kind that hits the heart harder than expected.
My son, just seven years old, asked his mom to change her Catholic shirt before his friends saw her. “I don’t want them to think you like God,” he said. He’s heading to religious education tonight, but hearing those words still stung. It wasn’t anger I felt, just this mix of sadness and surprise.
Kids say things without understanding the weight behind them, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t land somewhere inside us.
When Embarrassment Meets Innocence
At seven, kids are still figuring out how to navigate the world. They’re suddenly aware of their peers, their image, and the way others see them. Faith — something so personal and sacred to parents — can easily become tangled in a child’s desire to “fit in.”
It doesn’t mean they reject God. It doesn’t mean they’re ashamed of their family.
It simply means they’re human, learning their place among other little humans.
But as a parent, it still hurts to hear your child say they don’t want God — or even a sign of Him — to be visible.
A Teachable Moment Hidden in the Sting
After sitting with the feeling for a minute, I realized this was actually an opportunity. Not to lecture. Not to shame him. But to teach him something he’ll need for the rest of his life: how to handle embarrassment, respect others, and understand faith without fear.
So tonight, after religious ed, I plan to talk with him gently. Something like:
“Buddy, it’s okay to feel embarrassed about things sometimes. Everyone does. But it’s not okay to be disrespectful. When you asked Mom to change, that hurt feelings. Our faith is something important to us, and it’s not something we need to hide.”
No anger. No over-explaining. Just a soft nudge in the right direction.
Teaching Faith Without Forcing It
Faith isn’t something kids absorb perfectly. It’s lived, questioned, stretched, and learned in small, everyday moments. Moments like:
Being embarrassed by a church shirt
Not knowing how friends will react
Wanting to blend in
Being afraid to stand out
These are chances to plant seeds — seeds of respect, courage, identity, and love.
The goal isn’t to make him proudly shout about God everywhere he goes. The goal is to help him understand that respect comes first, and that faith is something he never has to be ashamed of, even if he’s still growing into it.
A Simple Phrase for Next Time
I’ve got a line ready for the future, something that both sets a boundary and teaches compassion:
“It’s okay to feel embarrassed, but it’s not okay to be disrespectful.”
Short. Gentle. Clear.
Because parenting isn’t about perfect responses. It’s about guiding their hearts one moment at a time — even the moments that sting a little.