Marked for Life: What I Didn’t Understand at Confirmation
Why Confirmation Matters—Even When We Don’t Understand It
“From that time on the apostles, in fulfillment of Christ’s will, imparted to the newly baptized by the laying on of hands the gift of the Spirit that completes the grace of Baptism. For this reason in the Letter to the Hebrews the doctrine concerning Baptism and the laying on of hands is listed among the first elements of Christian instruction. The imposition of hands is rightly recognized by the Catholic tradition as the origin of the sacrament of Confirmation, which in a certain way perpetuates the grace of Pentecost in the Church”
Tonight, I stand in a familiar place—but not as a student.
As a father.
As a catechist.
As a man who left… and was brought back.
In a small parish, in what looks like an ordinary ceremony, something is happening that most won’t fully understand—not even the children receiving it.
And that’s okay.
Because grace does not wait for understanding.
The Church teaches clearly in the Catechism of the Catholic Church that Confirmation “completes baptismal grace” and imprints a permanent spiritual mark—the seal of the Holy Spirit. Not a symbol. Not a milestone. A reality that cannot be undone.
Tonight, that seal is given.
Hands will be laid.
Oil will mark their foreheads.
And heaven will act.
“Very early, the better to signify the gift of the Holy Spirit, an anointing with perfumed oil (chrism) was added to the laying on of hands. This anointing highlights the name “Christian,” which means “anointed” and derives from that of Christ himself whom God “anointed with the Holy Spirit.” This rite of anointing has continued ever since, in both East and West. For this reason the Eastern Churches call this sacrament Chrismation, anointing with chrism, or myron which means “chrism.” In the West, the term Confirmation suggests that this sacrament both confirms baptism and strengthens baptismal grace.”
The Bread That Makes the Church
The Gospel of John is not abstract:
“I am the bread of life… whoever eats this bread will live forever.”
“Jesus said: “I am the living bread that came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; . . . he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and . . . abides in me, and I in him””
This is where everything converges.
As Pope Benedict XVI taught, “The Church is born from the Eucharist.”
And as St. Augustine said, “Behold what you are; become what you receive.”
The Eucharist is not a reward for understanding.
It is the source of understanding.
Tonight, I receive the Eucharist knowing something I didn’t know when I was their age:
This is what makes me part of the Church—not attendance, not effort, not identity.
The Eucharist.
“The Eucharist is the heart and the summit of the Church’s life, for in it Christ associates his Church and all her members with his sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving offered once for all on the cross to his Father; by this sacrifice he pours out the graces of salvation on his Body which is the Church.”
A Father’s Interior Life
There’s a quiet weight to this moment.
Because I’ve been here before.
I received this sacrament at their age… and then I walked away from the Church for over 30 years.
Not because the grace failed.
But because I didn’t yet understand what I had been given.
And still—here I am.
Which is exactly what Pope Francis reminds us: God never tires of waiting for us.
That seal remained.
Through confusion.
Through distance.
Through silence.
It did not leave me.
For These Children
So tonight, I don’t expect them to “get it.”
That’s not how this works.
Grace is planted before it is understood.
Like St. John Vianney taught, the sacraments are not dependent on our feelings—they act because Christ acts.
What matters is that it is real.
And one day—whether soon, or decades from now—I hope this moment comes back to them.
I hope it makes sense.
I hope they find peace in what was given freely tonight.
Heaven Touches the Ordinary
A bishop will stand in a small-town church.
Families will take pictures.
The night will pass like any other.
But it isn’t.
Because the Body of Christ will grow.
The Spirit will seal.
And eternity will quietly mark souls.
This is fatherhood in the interior life:
To witness what you cannot control.
To trust what you cannot see.
To believe that what is planted will, in God’s time, return.
And to know—personally—that even if they wander…
The seal remains.