The Teaching of Balaam and the Interior Life of a Father
A Catholic Formation for Men
“Keep watch over yourselves and over all the flock.”
— Acts 20:28
A father is rarely destroyed by open rebellion.
He is worn down by small permissions.
Scripture names this pattern plainly.
It is called the teaching of Balaam.
I. Balaam’s Strategy Is Not Loud—It Is Subtle
Balaam did not tell Israel:
abandon God
deny the covenant
reject the Law
He taught them something far more dangerous:
“You can keep God and this too.”
That sentence has destroyed more fathers than atheism ever has.
II. The Interior Battlefield of a Man
Numbers 31 reveals a truth men must face honestly:
Israel fell before any idol was worshiped—when desire went undisciplined.
This is why Scripture never separates:
sexual integrity
worship
leadership
A man who loses custody of his interior life cannot protect his house, even if he provides materially.
The Catechism states it without apology:
“The dignity of man requires him to act according to a knowing and free choice.”
— CCC 1731
Discipline is not repression.
It is freedom ordered toward love.
III. Why Fathers Are Targeted First
In Numbers 25–31, the assault begins with the men.
Why?
Because when fathers fall:
households fracture
children absorb disorder
worship becomes optional
authority becomes emotional, not moral
Satan does not need to destroy the family structure—only the father’s interior rule.
St. John Chrysostom warned:
“The devil does not overthrow the house by shaking the walls, but by loosening the foundation.”
The foundation is the man.
IV. Pleasure Is Not Neutral (A Word Men Need to Hear)
Balaam’s counsel weaponized pleasure.
Pleasure itself is not evil.
But pleasure without discipline becomes command.
St. Paul tells fathers plainly:
“I chastise my body and bring it into subjection, lest… I myself should be disqualified.”
— 1 Corinthians 9:27
This is not harshness.
It is fatherhood.
A man who refuses discipline teaches his children—silently—that feelings outrank truth.
V. The Father as Gatekeeper
In Scripture, the father is not primarily:
entertainer
fixer
emotional absorber
He is a gatekeeper.
What enters the home enters the child.
The Catechism affirms:
“Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children.”
— CCC 2223
This includes:
media
habits
tone
speech
order
reverence
You cannot outsource this without consequence.
VI. Why Balaam Is Executed (And Why This Matters to Men)
Balaam is killed not for prophecy, but for counsel.
Because teaching others how to sin while sounding reasonable is a grave evil.
This should sober every father:
Your children will imitate:
not your words
but your permissions
St. Augustine writes:
“Example is the loudest instruction.”
What you tolerate, you teach.
VII. The Model: St. Joseph
Joseph never speaks a recorded word.
Yet he governs the Holy Family through:
obedience
restraint
silence
work
vigilance
Joseph does not negotiate with danger.
He moves the family.
That is masculine leadership.
VIII. Formation for Fathers (Concrete, Not Theoretical)
Ask yourself honestly:
What have I normalized that I should have resisted?
Where have I chosen peace over truth?
What desires rule my reactions?
What habits shape my tone with my child?
Where has fatigue become permission?
This is not condemnation.
It is conversion.
IX. A Father’s Rule of Life (Simple, Livable)
Daily prayer (even brief, but non-negotiable)
Custody of eyes and speech
Clear routines (children thrive on predictability)
Calm authority (not volume, not lectures)
Visible repentance when you fail
Children do not need perfect fathers.
They need repentant, anchored ones.
X. Final Formation Line
Balaam teaches fathers to surrender slowly.
Christ teaches fathers to stand watch.
Your vigilance is not rigidity.
It is love expressed through order.
Suggested Scripture for Men’s Prayer
Numbers 25–31
1 Corinthians 9–10
Ephesians 6:1–4
Matthew 5:27–30